


If I just undid the locks and stood back

by acquario



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-26 22:19:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2668430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acquario/pseuds/acquario
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>carmilla and words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I just undid the locks and stood back

deep down, you know it was for you own good.

-

_cowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcow_

-

maman? you call but maybe you don’t.

-

_cowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowar_

-

 _the box is only temporary_ , you will read, and you will laugh. she will look at you, both eyebrows raised and you will shake your head as hysterical gulps shake your shoulders.

(the box will never leave you).

-

the rain washes the Blood from your Eyes and the Stars feel like Scorching Stakes through your pupils and everything Burns but you’d rather Burn that Dr o  w   n.

-

_cowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardco_

-

maman knows better. maman hugs you with her arms and whispers _i’m glad i found you_ in your ear and you allow yourself to cry.

_i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry_

maman hushes you.

(you don’t have a voice).

-

you try calling for elle. you just spit more blood.

-

maman is sweet and takes good care of you and if she punishes you it’s for your own good.

-

sometimes you think of Mutter and Vater and Schwester.

(you cry when you realise you don’t remember their names anymore).

-

you don’t speak for a long time.

(your mouth is glued together. you jaw is heavy. your throat is dry).

you have nothing to say.

-

_cowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcow_

-

words still struggle to get free (your lips feel like they’ve been sewn together by barbed wire).

maman speaks for you.

(you’re grateful).

-

 _I was born Mircalla, daughter of the Count Karnstein in Styria, a duchy of Austria in 1680._ , you start.

and you don’t stop (how weird it feels, to have words falling freely from your lips).

-

_cowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowar_

-

We’re done.

-

_cowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcowardcoward_

-

you’ve lost your voice again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> italians and their wacky futurism.


End file.
